Mental Illness
Hi friends,
This is a long one. Get a drink, sit down and enjoy xoxo
Mental Illness
How many times we fear the dark only to find that once we enter it, there’s not something to fear on the other side, there’s something to be in awe of, something quite magical.
-Matthew McConaughey
The month of May has been ‘Mental Health Awareness’ month since 1949. Our social feeds have been full of incredible information on mental wellness keys, so I’m not going to cover that in this writing. I think we have great resources out there already, and my input would only be redundant. Thank you writers of that content xoxo
I’m specifically going to cover, or at least take a shot at the topic of mental illness. I will abbreviate at times using MI in place of Mental Illness.
Before I dive in, I want to say that I am not a medical doctor, I have zero license. However, I do proudly declare that I have mental illness, for which I have zero iota of shame over. I am well treated by a team of doctors, I daily take medication, and I will happily be on medication for the long-haul of my life. Medicine is a cure for which I am eternally grateful for. To the millions of doctors, scholars, researchers, analysts, inventors, psychiatrists, psychologists, scientists and innovators who have broken through in bringing curative measures for the millions of people who for centuries have suffered from mental illness: Thank you. You are healers, worthy of praise, and responsible for the healing of the masses. You are unsung heroes, and to that end, I sing for you, as does my family and lineage. To that end, I write from firsthand experience, which is mine to share, and mine to give to you. Take this as learned and lived, from trial and error experience. If you are mentally ill or think you are, and if anything I say inspires you to some sort of action: please take anything to your medical support network before gunning it, take THEIR advice on you. Very important. They know you and your body. Xoxo
Alright, let’s go.
I began with this quote from my personal GOAT actor, Matty Mc, because I think his statement perfectly describes our fears of mental illness.
Again: ‘How many times we fear the dark only to find that once we enter it, there’s not something to fear on the other side, there’s something to be in awe of, something quite magical.’
Most of the time we veer from the topic of mental illness (in my experience anyway) for many reasons. As a whole, the topic is widely misunderstood, feared, judged and shamed. All of which simply, don’t help a living soul. Further, all of which creates a ton of damage and for many, rips families and relationships apart, and sometimes permanently.
Some mental illnesses are:
Depression
Anxiety disorders
Schizophrenia
Bipolar Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Psychotic Disorders
Personality Disorders
To name a few.
Mayo Clinic, named the best hospital in the nation 2019-2020 by the News & World report says this regarding MI:
‘Most mental illnesses don’t improve on their own, and if untreated, a mental illness may get worse over time and cause serious problems.’
Mental illness can be caused from a few sources. Biological, environmental, trauma and through circumstances (even great experiences, like having a baby! And all those who have suffered with postpartum depression said, ‘amen’) Regardless of mental illness’ origin, the common denominator is that treatment is required and essential. Treatments can include: Medication, talk therapies, support groups, in-patient treatments, self help therapies.
Here are the things I want to discuss today:
- Chemical Imbalances in the brain
The brain is the control center for our bodies. The human body relies completely on the brain for function. Supporting statement from Johns Hopkins (#6 Hospital in the world) on the anatomy of the brain:
‘The brain is an important organ that controls thought, memory, emotion, touch, motor skills, vision, breathing, temperature, hunger, and every process that regulates our body.’
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/anatomy-of-the-brain
EVERY PROCESS THAT REGULATES THE BODY. Therefore as THE control center of a human, we need to address MI with the same concern and vigilant response as we would any of the other physical illness. If there is an issue with our brain, it must be taken seriously and be treated. Problems in a control center are major problems. Excerpt from an article by Mass. Gen. Hospital (#3 hospital in the world) on chemical component in the brain to do with MI:
(On Depression): ’It touches every part of your life and is caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. It’s a chemical imbalance in your brain that needs to be treated. Depression is caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals. A mild electrical current is passed through the brain. ’
Full list of mental illnesses and chemical imbalances (note that these are intermixed with other general physical syndromes and illnesses because medically, they are recognized as the same):
Bottom line, regardless of its origin, MI’s chemically affect the brain. It. Is. Science. Treatment must be sought.
- Medication:
IF and/or when your care provider(s) recommend medicine, please don’t be scared, freaked or feel like a ‘crazy’ person who has failed at being alive (I’m projecting the very real feeling that I had about my own illness). It now baffles me (genuinely) that we have zero issues treating illnesses with medications such as diabetes, cancers, heart disease, blood pressure, Alzheimers, arthritis, cystic fibrosis, COPD, asthma, Crohn’s disease, HIV, AIDS, MS, Parkinson disease, epilepsy, AND SO ON. Yet as a generalization, we do not view MI with the same importance when it comes to medications. I believe this to be mainly through lack of understanding. Mental illness, much of the time, requires medication. (There are of course holistic treatments that I absolutely don’t write off, but this course of treatment should be undertaken with knowledge and sound advice as with anything). I personally take medication as well as holistic remedies. That works great for me. I personally took a stab at holistic remedies exclusively and first before medication (nutrition, exercise, vitamins, medicinal mushrooms (not psychedelics), 8-10 hrs of sleep per night, good relationships, talk therapy) but that wasn’t enough for me, I needed actual meds and I am literally now myself (for the first time E V E R. Halle- freakin- lujah).
The role medication is NOT to numb you out, cover up, be a mask, a cheat or escape. Medication is used to bring someone with mental illness back to themselves, their true self. A stable zone of experiencing life. Mental illness, in my experience and I know in the experience of others, hijacks a person from their life.
For example, I have PTSD. One way that this plays out for me is that I have had nightmares more or less every night since I was 11 years old. I thought that that this was my cross to carry, normal even. Because of that I didn’t deem it as something to receive treatment for. Through the direction of my psychotherapist, and psychiatrist, I have been prescribed a magical little pill, a type of beta blocker, which arrests the chemical in my brain which causes my traumatic nightmares. I take this pill every night one hour before I sleep, and I can say that I have had 98% success with this (I keep track). I now do not have nightmares. It would be unusual for me to experience one. I now wake up not feeling traumatized and feeling like I have to shake off the trauma and in some cases stop literally shaking from my dreams. This has been M.A.G.I.C.A.L and life changing for me. The success of this has amazed me, my husband, and even reduced my therapist to tears of joy. Now, at the appropriate pace I can work through my trauma when I DECIDE, not when the chemicals in my brain decide to torment me.
Medication ENABLES people to function at a clear, whole and regulated capacity. Medication brings mental clarity that without, is simply not present, attainable or possible. Medication brings freedom and peace. If you are on medication and your meds are not bringing you to a place that you have this, go back to your caregivers and do not leave until you have found the right med or cocktail of meds that will bring you back to you in some capacity. Your life and mental illness is worthy of that respect.
*A long side note about the Christian Institution and the general attitude towards Mental Illnesses.
I have a particular bone to pick with the religious, ‘Christian’ institution on this matter, as that is my background for the past 23 years, including bible school and working vocationally in Christian faith ministry for over a decade. I have heard and been guilty myself of ‘praying away’ disorders such as Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and to be honest, all other MI disorders. Does prayer help? Sure. I pray to the good Lord everyday. But at this point, I have come to the conclusion that the notion that these are to be prayed away, or are to be ‘touched by God away,’ and that medication is taboo, is not helpful. I don’t discount people’s spiritual experiences, but in my experience of battling with MI for the nearly the entirety of my life and from my research and talking to the medically qualified, I would say that recovery via prayer is an exception, not a rule to be cast upon the masses. And while I believe church leaders and clergy would argue that they support medicinal practices, the actions of the church widely do not support that thesis. I have bore witness to clergy and church leaders, whatever you want to call it and let me be honest: even myself, deeming the medical practices of mental health professionals with degrees and licensure as inferior to the input and direction of the ‘spiritual.’ Included and implied in that, the use of medication to treat mental illness.
From Psychiatry Online:
‘An example of a fundamentalist approach to mental illness is the Biblical Counseling (formerly nouthetic counseling) movement, which, in contending that truth can be known literally only through revelation in scripture, rejects mainstream psychology and psychiatry as humanistic, secular, and antithetical to Christianity.’
Full article link:
https://ps.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ps.201900005
This is all incredibly damaging to the mentally ill and only keeps them bound to shame and likewise bound psychologically to people who quite frankly, haven’t a clue as to what they are talking about, and most of which have no personal experience with being mentally ill. This in itself becomes a form of (spiritual) abuse. And to personalize this so that it lands, also, to dismiss my chemical makeup, trauma, or circumstances which have brought me to mental illness only does me and my health journey a disservice. If anything, christianity as with any fundamentalist religion, can become the agent of numbing, escapism and denial.
It is well documented that christianity for hundreds of years has dismissed mental illness, taking the account of Jesus in Mark 5 v 1-16 as an example to hang its institutional hat on (the story is of a demon possessed man, whom Jesus cast his demons into a herd of pigs). I have heard and bore witness to and been told myself that my issues were to do with demons, my sin, or unbelief/lack of faith, my inability to choose joy. I don’t know how I feel about demons. But I do know that those with mental illness are not demonic, lacking in faith, or too weak in their beliefs to choose something away. Anyone who would suggest that, in my opinion, should be quiet.
For a comprehensive article on ‘A Survey of Attitudes Toward Mental Illness in the Christian Church’ from the dept. of psychology at Baylor university, visit:
https://www.baylor.edu/content/services/document.php/35617.pd
To that end, I have also come to the conclusion and will stand on my soapbox for all my days hanging my hat on this: unless a person has a medical, psychiatric, or psychological license to practice medicine on people, no one, not even a spiritual leader has any right whatsoever to advise anyone on how to treat their mental illness. To assume that right without a medical board giving you that right is arrogant, dangerous and narcissistic. God be with you. I’m being bold here because I have been done a disservice in this matter and have practiced this disservice myself, actions and attitudes for which I am more than sorry about and have apologized for. I am embarrassed and appalled at my own stupidity, arrogance and ignorance in the context of Christianity and mental illness and I keep those emotions in my pocket lest I be a jackass again.
Does the church provide support for people, sure. I agree with that as I agree with support groups, AA and anything else that is HELPFUL. But it is important to keep the boundary line really clear and to know whom to take medical advise from. I for one am not interested or open to the feedback on the medication of mental illness from anyone who doesn’t have a degree in that subject.
Okay, moving on!
****
If you take meds, would you please, as a person who daily takes meds: in the words of Glennon Doyle, ‘take your damn meds, and keep taking your damn meds.’ Words spoken from a motivational speaker who has both depression and anxiety and takes ongoing Lexapro. When talking about keeping on taking your damn meds, Glennon expresses this best: (paraphrased) when we take meds and start to feel better after taking them, we think we are all better and start to come off the meds. GD likens this to being in a rain storm, and the meds are the metaphorical umbrella. As we notice we are dry because the umbrella is protecting us (the meds are working) we think, ‘oh wow, I am so dry’ and decide to get rid of the umbrella (get rid of the meds). Keep taking your meds. There is nothing wrong with taking meds for MI any more than it would be wrong for a heart disease patient to take ongoing medication for their cardiac disease. If your practitioner has cause for you to lessen your dose or to come off, then awesome. But if not, do not feel bad for taking medication for any length of time.
- Therapy:
I think you know by how I feel about this. But to re visit briefly IMO: every person on the planet needs therapy at some point in their life. Not one of us has this journey sussed and we are biologically not designed to process life without input from fellow travelers. Therapy isn’t for pansies, snowflakes, weak or sensitive people. Therapy is a step of bravery. Owning your life, and facing the ‘dark’ to discover the magic of who and what you are as a person. Therapy IMO is essential to all, at some point, not just those suffering with mental illness. To be honest, I get more concerned when people think they do not need therapy. But that’s a separate issue.
- Mental illness does NOT disqualify you from contributing to society, in fact, you’re probably the most impactful as you see things from a beautiful spectrum. The world needs you.
Mental illness doesn’t mean you are broken and therefor your humanity, opinions, and efforts are any less than anyone else’s. Factually speaking, some of our world’s greatest leaders, pioneers and artists in history had mental illness including Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Tolstoy, Charles Dickens, Isaac Newton, MICHELANGELO, Picasso, Beethoven, Hemingway, Van Gogh and many more. I believe those with mental illness and who receive treatment have a beautiful advantage in the way that life is seen and experienced. Art is enriched, music has incredible depth, literary works expand our brains to places we didn’t know possible, scientists and doctors lead in their fields with brilliance that is incomprehensible, leaders lead with compassion and strength, and so much more. If you are mentally ill, my plight is that you would know deep in your soul that your contribution is as vital as anyone else’s. We need those who see in black and white, and we need those who see in grey. All matter.
I’m closing this out here. To those who are mentally ill, I love you, I am with you, we can do this. To those who think they have something going on, I implore you to get help from a qualified professional. No harm in getting answers! To those who have misjudged, been misinformed, or whatever- I too am with you, the irony is that I was judging myself. lol. But seriously, if you feel guilty about acting out of mis-information, I recommend getting yourself informed, saying sorry where needed, and to move forward in your support of your fellow humans. After all, only 17% of us are actually deemed as mentally healthy. (True story) I have more to say but I can’t locate my glasses and I am tired of squinting. I LOVE YOU. Allison xoxoxo
P.S.
Brilliant short article from psychology today on Mental Health stigmas and misconceptions, a must read:
